Wow! It’s unbelievable to even write those words.
Last week, 8/6/18 marked 4 ½ YEARS post transplant.
There are days where that hits me in such profound ways.
The last three months for Reid and I have been filled with paperwork, paperwork, appointments, and, oh yes, more paperwork for our international adoption.
Last week, 4 ½ years hit me hard. I NEVER want to lose sight of the fact that I am able to be a Mommy because of the gift of life. This new journey is one of the absolute greatest blessings I will receive from being granted more life. We thank the Lord for each day of good health.
I have found myself in a season of rest. I have really cut back on saying “yes” to so many things. I have realized that saying “no” allows me to say “yes” to the things that I need in this season of my life to be the best version of myself.
I heard on a podcast recently, “No one will protect your calendar for you. They will take, take, take. You HAVE to leave white space in your calendar to protect yourself and your family.” I thought that was SO great and so true.
I recently read the book, Girl, wash your face by Rachel Hollis which I would highly recommend. Here were three of my favorite quotes from her book:
“Slow down your yes. Only commit to things you know you can accomplish because they’re incredibly important to you.”
“Every day you get to choose the way your world looks.”
“You are in charge of your own life, sister, and there’s not one thing in it you’re not allowing to be there.”
I LOVE these so much.
I have felt guilty recently for feeling like I have not been involved in so many different areas including volunteering more for organ donation, at church, community service, etc.
I have been in counseling since November, biblical counseling, which has been the most life-giving process.
When I was sharing this with my counselor, she said, “Look at what all you have done this last year. You have walked through the grief process of grieving your liver transplant, your hysterectomy, grieving the loss of a dream of having your own children, you have learned to set boundaries and surround yourself with healthy relationships, you are working on international adoption and so much more.”
When she said that, I immediately burst into tears.
It hit me that although I had not been giving to others as much as I desired this last year, I HAVE been taking care of ME in so many ways that I did not even realize I needed.
There are seasons where we have no choice but to be busy, but, I believe whole-heartedly that there are seasons where we need to scale back.
Where we take a look at our lives and see where we might need to be poured into and work through different situations in our own lives.
I cannot pour into others if I am not the healthiest version of myself. Realizing this truth was full of freedom for me.
With a season of more rest, it has allowed us to really focus on wrapping up our international adoption paperwork. We are finishing our Dossier paperwork now which is part of the international process. We are waiting on our I-800A form to be approved from the Department of Homeland Security, we just finished our psych evaluations this week and should receive our reports back in a couple of weeks. Once we have these documents, we will head to Austin for the day to get the many documents for the dossier apostilled.
Once they are apostilled, we will mail all of the documents to our adoption agency. They will have the documents translated into French since Burundi is a French speaking country. The documents will then be mailed to Burundi and once approved, we will be active on the wait list to be matched with our future kiddos.
This is a photo that was taken a year ago this weekend.
“Not showing but still glowing”
I have had some of my most precious friends announce their pregnancies and have their little babies or are having their babies very soon.
With the work I have done through counseling, I can honestly say I am so overjoyed for them. Although, I most likely could have gone through three pregnancies by the time our adoption journey is completed 😉 I choose to enjoy the story the Lord has blessed me with.
I am content beyond measure with our adoption journey and God’s plan for our lives.
Of course, there are days when the wait is hard. We are eager to have our babies in our home. We dream of them, how old they will be, what their names are, what our life will look like once they get here, and the list goes on and on.
One thing we have been intentional about is making moments count and enjoying each day that we have. We have learned to enjoy each day and see it as a gift since my transplant. We are embracing it just being the two of us right now for as long as we have left as Team Barker party of 2.
I pray you will reflect on the season of life you are currently in. Are there areas where you could scale back or where you need to create more intentional white space in your calendar?
There is freedom in the recognition of this and making the changes necessary to be the healthiest version of you!
Thank you for your continued love and support in every aspect of our life and on our adoption journey growing Team Barker!